Week 7: In Between What Was and What’s Next — and Shipping Something Real

A candid weekly look at navigating burnout, rebuilding, and finding my next role.

This week didn’t come with a clean sense of momentum or a big emotional breakthrough.

Instead, it lived in the middle — between what my life used to look like and what it’s slowly becoming. Some days felt heavy and unmoored. Others felt steady, if quiet.

But woven through that uncertainty was something important:

I shipped something real.

Living Without the Old Anchors

A few months ago, my days had built-in structure:

a full-time job
a team
a relationship
a clear sense of direction

Now, many of those anchors are gone at the same time. Even with routines and habits rebuilding, some days still feel adrift. There’s a question that’s been sitting quietly in the background all week:

What am I doing that really matters right now?

This week, that question felt heavier — but it also led me somewhere unexpected.

Did I Do That? — Building Through the Fog

Despite the emotional weight of the week, I spent a significant amount of time building and refining my mobile app, Did I Do That? — an app designed to help people remember infrequent but important tasks like changing HVAC filters, oil changes, testing smoke detectors, or keeping up with recurring home and life maintenance.

What started as a small idea turned into something tangible.

Over the course of the week, I:

fixed bugs
refined flows
improved stability
prepared builds for testing
and ultimately released the app to external testers

That moment — sending something I built into the world for other people to use — mattered more than I expected.

Not because it was perfect.
Not because it’s finished.
But because I built it during a time when motivation was fragile and confidence was still rebuilding.

Even when testers surfaced issues, I was able to calmly investigate, fix them, and ship updates without panic or self-doubt. That alone felt like proof that something inside me is healing.

Routine Still Holds — Even When Motivation Wavers

Outside of app work, my routine continued to be the thing that kept the week from unraveling.

Most mornings still looked familiar:

getting dressed
reading the news
playing a bit of Tetris
watching Twitch or development content
easing into the day instead of rushing it

Some days I skipped Zipfizz and felt the energy dip later. Other days I leaned into it and felt more stable. I’m learning how my energy actually works now — not how I wish it worked.

That awareness feels earned.

Small Wins on Heavy Days

Even on days where depression hit harder, life didn’t stop entirely.

This week included:

spending time with friends at Nerd Dinner
staying connected with my best friend
fixing and shipping a production issue for Did I Do That?
continuing to learn and experiment
showing up for family responsibilities

There were days where The Witcher 3 did a lot of the emotional heavy lifting — not as avoidance, but as a way to keep my thoughts from spiraling. On days like that, staying grounded was the win.

The Weight of Comparison

It’s hard not to compare where I am now to where I was just a few months ago.

Back then, I had:

job security
a partner
a clearer narrative about the future

Now, I’m rebuilding — slower, more intentionally, and with fewer guarantees. That contrast can make quiet days feel louder than they are.

What I’m learning is that grief doesn’t ask permission. Some weeks it stays in the background. Other weeks, like this one, it asks to be acknowledged — even while life continues.

Finding Meaning in the Middle

This stage of the journey isn’t inspiring in the traditional sense.

It’s transitional.

It’s the space where:

old identities loosen
new ones start to form
creativity returns before confidence fully does
purpose has to be discovered, not assumed

Releasing Did I Do That? didn’t magically fix everything — but it gave me something real to point to and say:

I’m still building. I’m still capable. I’m still here.

That matters.

Looking Ahead

As I move into the next week, my focus remains intentionally grounded:

continue supporting Did I Do That? through testing and iteration
keep routines steady
allow low days without judgment
stay open to momentum when it shows up
trust that clarity and direction will keep unfolding

I don’t need to rush this chapter.

For now, it’s enough to keep showing up — building where I can, resting when I need to, and letting the next version of my life take shape at its own pace.

Sometimes progress isn’t loud.
Sometimes it’s shipping something meaningful while standing firmly in the middle.